THE BIG ONE: TURNING 40

So it happened. I turned 40 yesterday!

This trip was in part planned around that fact. Lots of change occurred in my life in 2006 and I thought there’d be no better way to end my year, and to honor the passing of this milestone birthday then to be on this cross-country adventure.

When I was 33 and still working at my old company, Digitas, I imagined taking 35 workdays off for my 35th birthday. That would equate to a total of seven weeks off and I planned it for the summertime -- with both time in Provincetown and time abroad. Well at 34 I started my own company and left Digitas and for the last seven years I have hardly had the time to think let alone take off seven weeks! For the first five years I took 4-day weekends, and an occasional wed/wed week off. It wasn’t until my sixth year with CBDESIGN that I finally got a two-week vacation!

So preparing this summer for slowing down the project schedule to allow for my travel has been a blessing. I’m working approximately 7-10 hours a week (OK so I’m not off completely) but it keeps the projects traffic flow moving and some spare change coming in the door to allow me to get from place to place. In addition, I’ve done some odd jobs here and there to make extra money. (Cleaning toilets in Hudson, NY will be one of the memories I cherish as I humbly look back at where I was at 39 years old in the fall of 06!)

Approaching 40 didn’t faze me at all. Ok, ok, on my online profiles for the last 2 years I've said that I’m still 38, but apart from that I haven’t worried about the turning 40 thing. After all 40 is the new 30 so what's the big deal, right?

It did feel different yesterday morning though I must admit. Like I’m now a part of some club. I crossed a line. But I hardly feel like I’m mid-life. With all the changes in 2006 I’m looking forward more than ever to rebuilding my life from scratch and seeing where 2007 takes me.

I have so much to be grateful for. Loving friends (see pic of my friend Keith and I at lunch in Dallas yesterday...), a healthy family, and a handsome boyfriend who I’ve come to love dearly. My loving cat. My health. My sobriety. And the luxury of this time, to consider where I want to be in 2007 -- geographically, spiritually, mentally, financially.

It’s one big adventure. And I’m ready for it. I’m doing a lot of footwork to put closure, where needed, on the last several years of my life. Equally I’m taking the time to consider what and who I want to be in this next phase of my life. Where I want to live. Who I want to spend time with. What is most important to me.

Reassessment.

Will I move to a warm climate? I think I’ll learn to play the guitar. I’d like to live on less and travel more. I’d like to work for a nonprofit -- making a substantive contribution thru marketing that consumer branding can’t impact. I’d like to have the screws in my ankle taken out. I’d like to get back into yoga. Maybe I could finally learn to be on time.

Overall I think living a healthy, sober, yet fun filled life full of peace, prosperity, joy and love will always be my main goal. I continue to strive for this today, as I did yesterday, and the day before. All I can do is try to do my best, and learn from my mistakes. And love as deeply as I possibly can on any given day.

With that, thanks to all my friends and their wonderful birthday wishes.

Signed, Christopher at 40

THE RADIO STAR, THE OLYMPIAN, AND THE TITTY BAR...

Ok so Atlanta was pretty crazy and I was only there for 2 days.

I arrived in Atlanta by car from Lake Lanier. Not having a place to stay in Atlanta, I called up my buddy Keith (see 30K Miles and on to Dallas) who, thru a gay connection, hooked me up with a friend of his. Corey had ample room for me to stay for the 2 nights I’d be in town.

In addition, Keith’s best friend Jennifer just moved here about 6 months ago. Jennifer Reed is a Rock Station DJ, and a hot one at that. Keith was Jennifer’s Program Manager in Dallas at a top-10 market station where they both worked. Jennifer moved to Atlanta to join another top market rock station. Basically...she’s taking over the world.

I should mention that the day before I arrived a lot of phone calls were made between Corey, Jen, and Keith as to my itinerary during my short stay. Corey had a date my first night so Jen would be taking me out. Corey would play hooky from work my first full day here and be my tour guide. Jennifer -- between her gym, agents, talent scouts, and millionaire friends -- would spend the rest of her time with me.

Do I need to say she got me into a lot of trouble while here? Just read the subtitle of this blog one more time…

Before I go further I should mention that Jen was brought to Atlanta to add a little female energy to an otherwise male dominated bed-Rock station here, 96 Rock the “Home of the Braves”. A mere six months after being at the station, and after 25 years of serving their listenership, the station switched formats -- leaving Jen, and the loyal fan base, on the curb. This came as a surprise to Jen especially since she was let go and two days later she hit the cover of Atlanta City Mag introducing her as the latest siren of Atlanta’s airwaves, at, of course 96 Rock.

Well, since Jen had some time on her hands she proved to be an excellent tour guide (as if her rock diva personality alone wouldn’t have turned out a good time) but she and the excitement of the full-tilt nightlife in Atlanta made it a great couple of days.

The first night (since Corey had a date) Jen and I went to her friend’s Sean’s 27 day old restaurant. Sean, who originates from South Africa (JoBerg and Capetown), with this opening now made his tenth restaurant in Dallas (at a mere age of 31). He lavished attention on us, introduced us to his (young) talented chef, and sat with us during dinner. The food was fantastic. As I can’t ever resist, I gave him a few marketing ideas (and my business card…). Definitely a recommendation here (ask me for the name which I’ve forgotten!) if you’re in town or planning to be. Interestingly, the chef, went to U Mass Amherst for Hotel Restaurant Management, and lived in MA for half a dozen years or so before transplanting to Ga....

So, we had fun the first night at dinner and I thought we’d head home afterwards, but at 10:30 Jen had to make a ‘quick’ stop at her former station to work on an Air Check. An air check for those of you not in the know is like her radio ‘reel’ that would accompany her resume. And she’d planned it hitting the desks of Radio CEOs, VPs and Program Mangers in the weeks to come. So we headed to the station. The ‘quick’ trip turned out to be about 2 hours (we were there until 1:00 am on Thursday morning) but now I know everything there is to know about making an Air Check.

With the evening over, I focused my attention on sleep and Thursday’s itinerary. In the morning I walked a mile or so to a WiFi spot, checked in on some biz, and made my way to the Carter Center and Presidential Library. My favorite bits were the replica of the Oval Office, and the grounds complete with Zen rock garden, waterfalls, and Coy Fish (gifted by Japan).

But the afternoon quickly overshadowed my early morning presidential curiosity.

You see since Jennifer has been out of work, she has been blanketed with offers. She taped a cable travel pilot. She’s been offered a mid-west Rock spot. She’s fielding offers from past contacts, CEOs of major national radio groups, and a few TV Networks. She’s a hot commodity right now -- and that doesn’t go unnoticed by many, let alone yours truly. Especially when I get dragged to a titty-bar at three o’clock in the afternoon so she can “Say Hi” to three of her out of town investors.

Have you ever been to a titty bar? I haven’t. Why should I? I’m gay. But nonetheless, I suppose it’s a right of passage -- even for a gay guy.

We were waived in by the doorperson at “Cheetah’s” in downtown Atlanta. Walking down a corridor of fabric walls, we entered a large, mostly unpopulated room with two runways (about six girls dancing) lined by two bars. Between the runways, in the center of the room, was “front row seating”, where the tables were sunken and stools could be pulled right up -- for oogling, flirting, and tipping no doubt. If it’s designed for more than that I don’t want to know!

As Jennifer had, while on the phone in the car, let it be known to the guys “We’re about to get lunch, and I’m with a gay guy” suggesting that we may not want to come. The three men we were about to meet were very kind and went out of their way to make me feel comfortable. Jen of course noted that the three of them were so wealthy that this is what they did in the middle of the day -- at 3:00 pm on a weekday -- hang out in a titty bar.

It was an experience to say the least. The girls ranged from beautiful to seedy. As did the patrons. Jen joked that the patrons were either millionaires or losers. But we, the five of us, were joking around about all being “out of work” (as you know of Jen’s plight, and I let them in on my sabbatical and travel plans -- and this blog as well) and they of course joke that they don’t work (or hardly ever). Nice life!

In any case the "stopping by for 10 minutes" at 3:30 wound up being three hours. But we had a blast. These guys, Mark, Derrick, and Steve, were very kind and funny (if not a little a-typical straight, but hey I’m a pretty a-typical gay so we’re even). Derrick gave me a few bucks to go tip one of his favorite girls, which I did for him. But I think his motive was more because he wanted to see her all over me as entertainment for himself. Steve said “I bet you’ve never done that before” after which I remarked that “I have, but with MEN that look like that” and I promptly encouraged them to go to Club One in Savannah.

As a final note, I wasn’t kidding about the “Olympians” in the headline. One of the posse, and Jen’s TV investors, is none other than Steve Lundquist, two-time gold medalist swimmer from the 1984 summer Olympics in Los Angeles. He of the three paid me a lot of attention and made me feel right at home (at a titty bar? I should rethink that last statement…). He went out of his way to talk to me, to make me feel comfortable, very comfortable in fact. As a laugh I turned to Mark and told him that of the three of them, Steve is my type…they all got a hoot out of that (and I should mention that Steve is now quite bearish with a shaved head and hunky build...see pic of us at right). Of course he was quite the hottie back in his swimming days as well as you can see below…

Needless to say the remainder of the evening in Atlanta was hard to compare to the afternoon of booty and moguls. Corey and I did go to Thursday night at Woofs, the only local gay bear/sports bar and later visited the Atlanta Eagle (which is the first Eagle I’ve ever known to have a dance floor -- bad idea). At Woofs I met a couple (David and John) that I’m sure to stay in touch with. They’ve invited DJ and I to their cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

DJ and I have already discussed coming to Atlanta together -- I still want to see the Aquarium, spend time in Peidmont Park, and get to know more of the Gayborhood. In today’s Southern Voice, Atlanta was named as the third largest gay population in the US (behind SF and Seattle).. Boston ranked 5th behind Minneapolis’ 4th, with 12.5 and 12.3 respectively. The poll was a census of households polling as gay. (Source: The Williams Institute)

All in all Atlanta was a great success. I'll look forward to coming back again sometime soon. It’s a bit of a party town, but for the third gayest cities in the U.S. -- I give it two thumbs up!

LAKE LANIER, BUFORD GA

I arrived by “Greyhound bus to Atlanta” where I spent three days with my sponsor, and dear friend of eighteen years, Howie. He’s been living at and managing for the past year his brother’s marina outside Atlanta, in Buford, GA -- Lanier Harbor.

Lake Lanier has 700 miles of coastline and it’s about 45 minutes outside Atlanta. It accounts for millions of dollars of recreation revenue to the state of Georgia – and it’s a reservoir! Since boats are allowed on the lake, they have a large water treatment facility (many likely) near the lake that treats the water for public consumption.

Lanier Harbor houses approximately 400+ boats that can be pulled from dry-dock, put in the water, and be gassed and ready to go with a phone call. Sounds pretty good to me.

Howie has been my AA sponsor for eighteen years this month! Prior to this he was living for two years at Easton Mountain, a gay men’s retreat center in upstate New York State. Take a look at his MySpace profile for more on Mr. G.

We had a great time in Buford and Atlanta. Overall we just caught up. It’s always great to see Howie. He’s one of the people on the planet that knows me best. It’s always great to have a friend like that. Someone that you can’t hide from. Someone who knows your soul.

Howie, in the eighteen years I’ve known him, has lived in Boston, Haiti, Hawaii, France, DC, Rochester, Easton and now Atlanta. No matter where he goes we’re in contact. During his one-year stay in Haiti in the early nineties we sent a weekly letter to each other. I still keep those letters to this day. I was a young twentysomething kid just starting to learn about this world and my place in it. I’ve often said that I’ve learned more from this man than from my own parents.

Howie just passed the big 5-0, and as I close in (on December 15th) on my own milestone birthday I know our friendship will last thru this next decade and beyond. I love you Howie. Thanks for being in my life.

P.S. For those who can't figure it out, Howie and I are exactly 10 years apart.

TELFAIR MUSEUM, SAVANNAH

During my time in Savannah, I had my second visit to the new Jepson Center for the Arts at the historic Telfair Museum of Art (for fans of "the book" the Telfair is the home of the Bird Girl statue). I visited the museum with Donnie and Mark (my best friends and Savannah hosts), Tom (visiting from Provincetown), and Lenny (visiting from Asheville, NC). We had a great time… as you’ll see from some of my photos shot there. As for the museum, I’ll let their website tell the story…

Architect Moshe Safdie Designs a “Destination of Distinction” in Savannah’s Historic District

The Telfair Museum of Art opened its new 64,000-sq. ft., state-of-the-art building to the public in March 2006, ushering in an exciting new era for the “oldest public art museum in the South.”

The new building, the Jepson Center for the Arts, is the first expansion in the Telfair’s 119-year history and adds 66% more exhibition and educational studio space than previously available in the museum’s two c.1819 National Historic Landmark buildings in Savannah’s historic district, the Telfair Academy of Arts and Sciences and the Owens-Thomas House.

An Expanding Museum for a Growing Community

Designed by architect Moshe Safdie, whose Salt Lake City Public Library and Peabody Essex Museum commissions opened to much acclaim in 2003, the Jepson Center for the Arts features two large galleries for major traveling exhibitions; galleries for African American art, Southern art, photography and works-on-paper; a community gallery; a 3,500-sq. ft. hands-on gallery for young people; two outdoor sculpture terraces, education studios, a 200-seat auditorium, café, and store.

“Moshe Safdie has helped the Telfair achieve its objective of creating a dramatic, modern, accessible museum building that is also an important work of monumental sculpture. He has met the challenge of creating a building that is decidedly ‘of its time’ while complementing the beauty and character of the 18th- and 19th-century buildings that are Savannah’s hallmark,” said Dr. Diane Lesko, executive director of the Telfair Museum of Art, in announcing the opening.

“While Savannah has its feet planted firmly in the past, and that is the undeniable reason for its appeal to residents and visitors, it is also the fastest growing city in Georgia. Telfair exhibitions, programs, acquisitions of artwork, membership, and visitation have paralleled the community’s growth – we mount nine to 12 exhibitions annually and have twice as many members now as we did seven years ago, for example – so the Jepson Center will allow the museum to more readily meet the needs of a vital city.”

Covered with glistening white Portuguese stone and consisting of two separate structures connected by glass bridges over a protected lane that is part of Savannah’s town plan originally conceived in 1733 by Georgia’s founder General James Oglethorpe, the building has a soaring, light-filled atrium and sweeping, three-level staircase that provides access to its expansive galleries.

The Jepson Center has a total of 14,000 square feet of additional exhibition and studio space that permit the Telfair to mount temporary exhibitions that are considerably larger than has been possible in the landmark Telfair Academy. The Academy has been the museum’s principal venue for presenting fine arts; the Owens-Thomas House is a historic house museum and exhibits many works from the Telfair’s decorative arts collection.

SAVANNAH FOR THANKSGIVING

Savannah is always a place of decompression for me. I settle in. Donnie and Mark always make wonderful hosts. In fact, they’re more than hosts, they’re family.

The boys have lived in Savannah (by way of Key West) for 9 years now, and for the last five I have spent Thanksgiving with them (and one Xmas and New Years). The T-days have ranged from “bohemian” at their newly purchased but yet unfinished Tybee cottage…to now two consecutive holidays at their mid-century modern home in Savannah (with a couple Tybee holidays thrown in for good measure).

There is a thread of usual faces each year — Kevyn and Ken, Tommy, Lenny, often Karen and Clark. We have had other friends from Savannah, and a stray family member or two (Ken’s parents this year, Karen’s last).

I have to say that Bohemian – five years ago – was one of my favorites. Mark tells it best, but essentially we disguised a very rough and dirty new cottage with craft paper, potpourri, and about a hundred yards of fabric from the dollar bin at the local fabric store. Now the “Catfish Cottage” is a showplace, but back then it was studs, blueboard, and no sink. We literally brought in the stove just to reheat the sides!

Although Bohemian Thanksgiving will go down in the history books, I must say that this year being woken up (from my pre-dinner nap) by “MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO GEORGIA” blasting on the stereo is a memory not to be soon forgot.

Donnie and Mark are just settling back in to Savannah after sabbatical of their own. They just returned from sending 9 months in South America. Donnie, having sold his Land Rover before leaving for the trip just came back to buy a car on EBay –- a 1979 Mercedes. It’s a throwback for sure.

Overall Tday was very fun. We spent many hours playing Taboo and Rummy Cube (actually we burned thru the box of Taboo cards – both sides – during our four day weekend!). Yeah, you can say it, we’re madmen. LOL.

Well, until next year. I wonder where we’ll spend Thanksgiving in 2007? I know one thing for sure, DJ will be joining me on the next one. Can’t wait.

MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO GEORGIA

You would never believe this story unless it happened to you…

Yesterday I began a 2.5 month trip across country. Commencing in Albany, NY, I drove to Alexandria, VA where I spent last night with a good friend, Andrew, who works for the State Department as an architect. We had a nice morning. Breakfast. Photos of his 2.5 week trip to Africa. And I was on my way. 10:00 a.m. the day before Thanksgiving I pulled onto Route 95 headed south toward Savannah…

The coastal storm working its way up the coast was expected to cause some trouble for the Carolinas. Cautions were extended. “Drive safely” was what each friend said upon hearing of my day of travel.

Live sanely should have been the motto -– because what occurred was anything but sane.

Since you’ve seen the photo I don’t have to tell you that my darling love-of-my-life red VW is now wrecked. What you don’t know is how it came to be that it’s now sitting in a auto dump in Emporia, VA.

Simple story is that a -- READ IT HUGE SUV -- passed me on the right, pulled in front of me, and then within moments slammed on its breaks.

But the simple story is never the most interesting… I suppose what’s most interesting is how bizarre the last eight hours have been since that simple action occurred…to lead me to now sitting in Rocky Mount train station in North Carolina, about to board the 11:54 p.m. train to Savannah.

After the SUV slammed on its breaks, I reacted in turn. My brain said to pump my breaks (as I was driving on wet roads, and my VW unlike newer cars don’t have anti-locks). Well I may have pumped them once, but my instincts took over. I pounded my foot to the floor, grabbed the steering wheel with both hands, braced myself…and closed my eyes. When I opened them, the hood was not exactly where it had been previously (nor was my cup of coffee, my bags, my map, my ipod).

I don’t know exactly when it hit me. I stayed in the car for a while trying to comprehend the impact…literally. I grabbed everything off the floor of the car, including my overturned cup of joe spilling out thru a little hole in the plastic top.

The driver from the other car came over to my window to inquire if I was OK. I think at that point I got out of the car…I’m not sure. But eventually I climbed out of my car and saw the damage… The most distinct visual was all the green coolant gushing onto the street and into the gutter. My two headlights were smashed in, as was my grille, the radiator, my hood.

Earlier today I wondered how I got from the fast lane where the accident occurred, into the center median near the guardrail. But as I write this I am remembering that cars were driving around debris about 100 yards behind me. Is it possible that I don’t remember continuing to drive for that 100 yards and pulling over to the left of the 2-lane highway? I suppose it is. I’ve also wondered how the car got turned off…did it stall out or did I shut it off? I don’t know.

Standing in the middle of highway 95 staring at my poor car, it started rushing over me… My trip. My holiday. What’s to be done? Who should I call? How am I going to travel with all this luggage?

I climbed into the car and called Tom and Lenny. They were driving from Asheville NC to Savannah. “Lenny I totaled my car.” He didn’t believe me until I told him the exact extent of the damage. Could they come get me? No. It would be a 12-hour drive roundtrip. Insane.

The State Trooper showed up. I have to say that I’ve been very lucky with men in uniform. They have always been very useful, on the ball, polite, and handy in a crisis. He asked twice if I was OK. He was “on the case” immediately and “I didn’t have to worry about a thing”. Eventually after some time (and a few phone calls) sitting in my car, he asked that I come sit in his cruiser to answer some questions. Before I knew it my car was up on a flatbed truck ready to be towed. Where to? Little did I know this was just the beginning of my adventure in Emporia, VA.

Ask me about the junk yard dog. The motel lobby I spent 4 hours in. The bartender's friend. The one-armed cab driver. All and all I spent 6 strange hours in Emporia...and I need to blog the entire experience.

----

Fast forward. 6;30 am Thanksgiving. Amtrak almost to Savannah.

I’m cold. I’m tired. I’m hungry. I’m sore. I can’t believe the last 15 hours of this trip. How did this come to be -- that I should be on a train arriving in Savannah at 7am on Thanksgiving day?

I’ve only ever owned two cars. In 1986 I bought a four year old White VW Rabbit. I had it for 12 years. Again I bought a 4 year old car, in 1998 this Red VW Golf. Two cars in 20 years. I’m going to miss my baby. She was a beauty. She ran like a top. She loved the highway. And boy was she fast.

Life can change in a second. I should be grateful that I nor anyone else in the accident was hurt. I am glad, but there is a sadness to my loosing the car. And I’m curious about what will be next for me and this trip to CA. Will I buy a VW in Savannah? Fly to Palm Springs? Train or bus it? Or meet a stranger on a craigslist who will offer me a ride? Who knows.

But all I know is that I didn’t expect to ever, least of all today, take a Midnight Train to Georgia.

UTILITY GRADE FRUIT

Indian Ladder Farm, Altamont, NY

DJ and I spent a perfect Saturday in upstate New York in mid-October. We went apple picking. Well more honestly we went apple roaming. We didn’t pick any apples nor did we go on the hayride with all the crying babies, moms and dads. We did our own thing and roamed around the farm – which actually had a lot to offer.

Indian Ladder Farms is a fourth generation orchard in New Scotland, Albany County. The Farm is located in the shadows of the dramatic Helderberg Mountain.

There were the many barns filled with memories of yesteryear. One could imagine how lives were led in these farmlands at the turn of the 20th century. The onset of the first automobiles. Wagon wheels left behind, now decorative items from years past.

The livestock seemed from a time gone by too. It’s not often this boy gets the chance to see a wooly cattle up-close and personal (officially a Scottish Highand Cattle). Apparently they are a very hearty stock, live on grass only (no feed), and can be trained easily because of their superior intelligence. Hmmm… The goats were odd looking as well – do you think that’s where Goat-ee comes from!?!

Of course one of the greatest draws to an apple farm is the goodies – and there were a-plenty. Stands with pumpkins, gourds, squash, jams and jellies, and of course – apples! Every size, shape, color, flavor, and purpose! And don’t forget the Apple Cider Donuts! DJ and I bought two bags full and nearly finished off one whole dozen before we left the farm (OK they were hot and we hadn’t had breakfast!).

All and all it was a beautiful day. One might say a Brokeback Day – but since we didn’t get our hands dirty or climb on a horse at all, maybe not...(tho we would have climbed on the hunky farm hand wearing the John Deere tshirt, but I digress…).

Just before we left (with an armful of apples and donuts) we wandered into the barn, only to find a sign titled Utility Grade Fruit. “At long last I think I found my illusive first tattoo” I thought to myself. (Now where to put it…).

If you’re outside Albany, the Indian Ladder Farm is a fun place to spend a couple of hours. And if it’s a sunny and warm day, you can hike for miles. It’s really worth the trip!

Columbus Day in Capital City

If someone had told me Albany, NY was beautiful I wouldn’t have believed them. I might say I’d only heard ‘bad’ things about it but that’s not quite true. Mostly it's just that no one has ever spoken highly of it.

Well I had the opportunity to spend a weekend (that turned into a 12 days) in Albany and I loved it. Of course the company helped, but the landscapes, the people, the nightlife -- everything was very fun.

I guess I should start by saying that I was visiting a guy (DJ) who I met at Carnival in Provincetown. We joked we were each others ‘Carnival Prize.’ I guess God has decided it’s time for me to get back in the dating game, so to speak, so off I went to visit him in the Capital City.

It was a perfect time to be in Albany, with the fall colors changing and all. First off, he showed me around town. Their ‘Central Park’ is beautiful and reminds me of Boston’s Public Garden. In fact, Washington Park as it’s called, was designed by the famous 19th century landscape architect Olmsted (who indeed designed both New York and Boston’s parks, in addition to our 20+ miles of green space called the “emerald necklace” culminating with the Arnold Arboretum, but I digress).

Nightlife was fun as well beginning with a packed-to-the-gills book reading by David Sedaris at the Palace Theater (much like Boston’s Wang Theater). Albany’s own First Friday open studios event. Leather night at the Phoenix. Dinner with friends, and I got a chance to check out the “Capital District Gay Community Center”. They have one up on us there, as Boston doesn't have an official gay community center (and should in my opinion!).

Since I began my time in Albany Columbus Day weekend, I wanted to check out the local AA. Columbus Day is a very special weekend for me –- it’s when I got sober, and this year I celebrated 18 years. While at a meeting in the Capital City, I ran into an old/new friend Todd who is living in Albany now by way of NYC. We knew eachother in the early 90’s in Boston and have all the old gang in common. Since DJ was working all but Columbus Day itself of last week, Todd showed me more of the town and we covered a lot of ground. Speaking of grounds, we hit most of the coffee shops with; yes indeed hotspots (of the wireless kind so I could get some Client work done). I’m really excited to have reconnected with Todd. We seem to be kindred spirits (both Sagittarian) and I believe we’ll become good friends.

DJ also showed me all over Albany and the surrounding areas. We went 1/2-hour south to the Helderberg Escarpment (mountain cliffs, Thacher Park, with a waterfall like I haven’t seen since Hawaii!); apple picking at the Indian Ladder Farm; and one of the most amazing days we had was just spending time at Empire State Plaza.

Governor Nelson Rockefeller oversaw the plaza design; it has at one end the State Museum and Archives and the other the historic New York State Capitol building. It includes many outdoor sculptures, and a water element that rivals that of Boston’s Reflecting Pond, and ample community space and gardens. It was spectacular to see it in the Fall's bright clear sunlight (and to see it first with DJ). It was a fun afternoon indeed.

One of the most amazing aspects of the plaza was “The Egg.” When built they envisioned a modern theater / community space. It’s quite a sight. They say there isn’t a 90-degree angle in the place. We had a chance to walk thru it (and the underground city connecting the capital buildings) but didn’t see the theater space itself. I guess that’s next time.

And yes, in fact, there will be a next time. I’m going to visit DJ again, and conveniently it’s during their Bear Weekend in November! Woof!

Meredith’s Boundaries

[ This post is dedicated to DJ ]

At some point, you have to make a decision.

Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in

Life is messy. That’s how we’re made.

So you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them.

But there are some lines — that are way too dangerous to cross.

Here’s what I know. If you’re willing to take the chance. The view from the other side?

Is spectacular.

[Grey's Anatomy, "The First Cut is the Deepest" Air Date: 04/03/2005]

Dallas to Oklahoma in 111 Miles

Monday, September 11, 2006

Yesterday Keith and I decided to do something a little different during my time here in Dallas. We drove to Lake Murray in Oklahoma to attend “Willow Swish” which apparently is a weekend long camping expedition for gay men and women from these western states. Strangely enough we found out about it while shopping at, what I've come to find as the gayest Kroger (Stop and Shop for you East coasters) ever -- in the Gayborhood of course. There we met a guy wh. based on our shopping selections, thought we might be camping this weekend too (we were in the paper isle). This (cute) guy told us about the event being held at this lake about 2 hours north from downtown Dallas. (Little did I know that Oklahoma was so close to Dallas!) There were expected to be about 300 people from TX, OK and other neighboring states so we thought if the weather was good on Sunday, we’d go. And we did.

Of course we were out late (or is it up early?) Saturday night, so we got a late start but made it to Lake Murray in the mid-afternoon. As was the case, most of the campers had left by then but it worked out perfectly in my opinion. Lake Murray is rather large, and very beautiful. We explored the western and eastern bottom most tip of the lake (it took about 20 minutes to drive from the west shore to the east) and to get to the camping sites situated on the lake. To get there it required us to off-road, we were both glad that Keith had a 4-wheel drive (mini) SUV.

We got to the lake and it was completely deserted. Keith packed a lunch, I packed the towels and other sundries, and so after a 2 hour drive (and a bit of getting lost) Keith, Lucy Lu (his pug) and I piled out of the car 20 feet from the shore of this gorgeous, pristine, fresh water piece of earth. We spread a towel down on the dusty ground (it’s dessert like) and I immediately tore off all my clothes and dove in. The lake was muddy, and dropped off very quickly. I couldn’t even see let alone find the bottom of the lake -- and I was only 10 feet from the shore’s edge.

After 4 days of busily exploring every corner of Dallas — the local Gay scene including the many clubs, shops, restaurants, and neighborhoods, not to mention the Counting Crows/Goo Goo Dolls concert we attended Saturday night (it was amazing, thanks Keith!) this pristine, deafeningly quiet, refreshing, and scenic jaunt was exactly what I needed. It was a moment to be remembered.

And incidentally, I can’t imagine a more fitting place to spend a bit of 9/11/06 than in a peaceful place as Murray Lake, OK.

30,000 Feet and on to Dallas

Thursday, September 7, 2006, 11:35 am EST

I just woke up from a great nap. Strangely, both flights this morning were nearly empty so I was able to stretch out and sleep. Which is a good thing because I was up at 1:00 packing for this trip to Dallas, and the lovely alarm went off at 4:30 so I could get my ass to Logan. So I’ve slept most of the morning and am now feeling a bit refreshed.

I’m off to visit Keith Birtwell (see pic) who has lived in Dallas for 6 years working in Radio, but who is about to sell his home and uproot his life and change careers into TV. We met 3-4 years ago online for the purpose of sharing a room at the Florida Round-up (12-step conference for gay men and women held each year in Miami).


Keith and I hit it off right away, but our friendship seriously took hold this Summer after he came to visit me in Ptown for Bear Week. We bonded around breakups (we both had been with our partners for the last few years) as now being single girls (with bruised hearts) in Ptown we provided the appropriate mix of support and kick-in-the-ass-back-to-reality that one needs when your overcoming a lost love.

But Bear Week in Ptown was just the beginning – Keith came back for Carnival, made possible by the fact that he’s been laid off from his Radio job -- and similarly my spending 6 weeks (from Bear week to Labor Day) on the cape this summer (the first time I've ever been able to spend that kind of time out of the office and working remotely part-time).

So Keith and I officially crossed the line into ‘Best Friend’ status, and so I’m on a plane to Dallas using FF miles for the first time in my life to go see his life there before he moves to NY, Chicago, or my favorite, Boston. He’s an amazing, energetic, sometimes forgetful, caring, one-of-a-kind guy. He’s the real deal, if you know what I mean. And FUCKING FUNNY. (See Shoes.) Ah, and as he’ll likely read this he’ll say, “You didn’t include HOT” so for you Keith -- he’s a very handsome, sexy, double take, HOT (Top) man…. But you would have seen that from the pic above (even tho, as he states, in that photo I’m looking like the Daddy.)

As the good friend that he is, he has planned some fun activities for us including the Counting Crows / Goo Goo Dolls concert this Saturday night, he’s appropriately spread the word to all his did-I-mention-hot friends of my pending arrival, accompanied by the sightseeing, dinners, friends-over-for-movie-night, and visiting my first gay Cowboy bar. In fact I’m sure we’ll be visiting a few clubs while I’m in Dallas / Fort Worth area to taste the local flavors, if you will.

It’s funny, as if it weren’t for Keith I’d likely have never visited Texas. It wasn’t on my radar screen of gay friendly places to visit (yes, everyone knows about Austin) and certainly being the home of GWB it’s not exactly high on my list. But Keith will make it fun, memorable, and certainly full of laughs.

New to Blogosphere

OK so Luc a.k.a. woofboy http://www.luclatulippe.com/ inspired me to start my own blog.

Beautiful sunny day here in Boston, but I'm spending it inside building this baby.